"I remember calling my mom and saying: ‘So, I’m gonna drive to California and try to, like, do this stand-up thing so I can get into TV’. […] She didn’t freak out, like, I thought she was going totally to freak out. My dad freaked out, he was like ‘please, get health insurance’. That was his big thing: ‘get health insurance!’." - Retta
me: what’s for dinner?
her: *spreads her legs*
so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it.
"I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven’t slept all night, I’m starved, and I’m armed! Don’t mess with me!"